


That 'Some' Relationship

by 48ivy1



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crush, Drama & Romance, F/M, First Love, Korean Characters, Love Confessions, Regret, Romance, School Reunion, Tragic Romance, highschool, kpop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 00:48:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16902942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/48ivy1/pseuds/48ivy1
Summary: In this world, ‘un-confessed love’ are more than the ‘unrequited love’ or ‘the breakups’.In a bond between two people, ‘what am I in your life?” is the question that always be in their mind. ‘Am I in your dreams, Am I in your thoughts, Am I being missed?’, those questions to which we wanted to hear the (desired) answers but are scared of asking. Most importantly, we wish to know, ‘Do those questions pop in your head TOO?’ Because more than, ‘I miss you’, we always wonder about, ‘Do you miss me like I do?’ In some relationship,  you will find yourself hoping that it will get somewhere, and you’ll end up in always hoping rather than realizing your destination.To fall in love with a person, age didn’t set any restriction. To understand what love is, age and level of understanding played as barricades. Those barricades streamlined the traffic of emotions into nervousness, shyness and palpitations. It told her to run whenever he enters into her peripheral vision. ‘Looking, yet not looking’, became her way of life.Avoid him;Don’t let him see you; Don’t show him your emotions; Don’t let him know anything about you! She lived abiding those warning signs. But, years later, those signs, had turned into her regrets.





	That 'Some' Relationship

Shades of green and yellow filled the blue sky as she looked up. The bright green carpet of grass extended below her feet till the pond which marked the end of the park. The dark wide bark and the tall trees stood there like an umbrella from the sun. The bright rays of sun brushed the leaves on the one side of the trees giving it a brighter phase. The wooden benches on the sides of the earthen walkway decorated by fallen leaves, caught her attention. She slowly waked towards the bench while hearing the dried leaves under her footsteps rather than the usual sound of her heels on the tiles.

She stood before the bench and scanned it for some space forsaken by fallen leaves. Not finding any, she planned to brush it off. Holding her hand bag and gathering the open edges of her red long coat in one hand, she leaned in to brush the leaves off the bench. Afraid of getting her hands dirty, she tried to blow those leaves off. Before she could witness the failure of her attempt, a gush of wind blew those leaves away. Satisfied by the nature’s help, she took her seat on the bench smiling. Her legs rested while her eyes wandered around the park excitedly.

“Glad to be here again”, she uttered softly in her nostalgia.

The last time she was here was, ‘Tangled’ was in theaters. She was in her second year of high school. Now, she is back as an architect and as a maid of honour in her best friend Jiwoo’s wedding.

After wandering around the park, her eyes came back to the empty space beside her. A man of few words occupied the space beside her. He was in his high school uniform; his eyes were deep as he looked at her. Her heart skipped a beat at his smile. She immediately averted her gaze away to hide her bushing face. Breathing in an ample amount of oxygen, in case she went breathless, she looked beside her again. There seated the boy still smiling at her. “You are a high school boy in my memories… I want to see how you’ve grown up to be…”, she muttered to herself. She smirked in disbelief saying, “I wished to spend time with you here… guess it stayed in my imagination…” The boy in her memories who was seated beside her, faded as the sound of her ringtone brought her back to the present time. She answered the phone holding a smile,

_Hello!_

_Sohyun-ah…_ (Jiwoo who was at the other end of the call sang)

 _Mmmm…._ (Sohyun hummed in response)

 _Is that all you can say?_ (Anger was evident in her tone)

_Should I ask ‘How are you? It’s been a long time’, and put a wall between us?_

_You’ve learnt to talk… Anyway, come back to the hotel asap. It gets really cold, when it gets dark._

_You’ve learnt to nag like a wife!_ (Sohyun retorted)

 _You’ve really learnt to talk… By the way…_ (Jiwoo hesitated to continue) _We’re having a reunion tonight…_ (she dropped her surprise)

 _Reunion?!_ (Sohyun’s eyes widened)

_Mmm… Since, most of our classmates are here for the wedding, we planned to have a reunion tonight…_

_Is everyone coming?_  (Nervousness and anxiety lingered in her voice rather than excitement)

 _I don’t know. Better come early and get ready! I’ll give you two hours…_ (Jiwoo warned)

_What?!_

Jiwoo hung up the phone leaving Sohyun in the middle of the conversation.

Sohyun hurried to the hotel to freshen up for the reunion. The sudden info got her off guard. But it was rather easy for her to choose among the clothes in her suitcase than in her wardrobe. She chose the knee length sheath dress. Though the dress was a formal attire with no pattern, its red wine colour and short sleeve aided by the crew neck made her look elegant. Still, she wished she had some more sets of clothes to choose from.

She got dressed up earlier than she expected. Failing to contain herself in the hotel room, she went to find her friend, Jiwoo in the next floor.

After Sohyun’s knock and Jiwoo’s look through the peep hole in the door, there was a warm reunion. They embraced each other in a tight hug.

“Since, my dress is wrinkle free, I’m letting you hug me. But, will you be ok?”, Sohyun said after realizing that they had been hugging for a while, in the doorway.

Jiwoo, instantly withdrew from the hug, screaming, “No!!”

Before she could scream another word in the hallway, Sohyun dragged Jiwoo inside the room. After Jiwoo recovered from the dress, Sohyun pointed towards Jiwoo’s undid hair and asked softly, “Shall I do your hair?”

Struck by her formal request, Jiwoo froze for a second. Determined not to let those years affect them, Jiwoo replied, “Will you leave me if I say no?”

“Try saying it…”, Sohyun teased her.

Those years didn’t change them. But soon she realized those days changed none of her classmates as she observed them while sharing a big dinner table. Tight hugs, tears of joy and smiles were generously spent. School crushes and its accompanying cute shyness, the one-sided lover turned poet and their silly poems, the fighters and their censored curse words, everything that was buried as embarrassing memories was dug out. Selfies might have missed some moments but, their eyes were wide open to capture everything.

Jiwoo who sat right across Sohyun noticed that her eyes were fixated on the entrance. Jiwoo’s fiancée, Kim Junmyeon nudged her saying, “You look like you’ll gobble her up anytime soon… stop staring at her”

“Her eyes are on the door, expecting someone…”, Jiwoo told Junmyeon.

“Someone? Who?”, he asked Jiwoo.

“That guy from the drama club…”, Jiwoo whispered into his ears, to which he gave an unexpected response, “That’s tingling…”, he replied while squealing at the brush of her whisper on his ear. After a pause for a realization, he exclaimed in whispers, “Oh… that SHySHy couple!”

Jiwoo gave him a sharp stare, “What couple? They didn’t even date!”

“Really? I thought they secretly dated…”, he said with his widened eyes.

She looked at Sohyun who was swept away in anxiety and said, “I’m worried!”

“It’ll be nice, if they end up together like us... But, why are you worried? Perhaps, do you have any selfish wish that we should be the only high school sweethearts who gets married?”

Jiwoo rolled her eyes at his remark and slapped his arms saying, “Don’t you know…” Before she could spin her words, one of the guys shouted, “Hey… Yoo Seungho is in parking lot and is waiting for someone to pick him up. His phone is dead, to give instruction… So-”

“Leave it to me! I’ll fetch our drama club president!”, another guy replied and ran downstairs.

The word ‘Yoo Seungho’ struck Sohyun like a lightening. She immediately got up from her seat and moved away from the table. She stood before the mirror in the restroom, adjusted her makeup and ironed her clothes with her hands to get rid of the wrinkles in her wrinkle free clothe. She inhaled and exhaled deeply to ease her nervousness. But the palpitations never ceased. Her eyes quivered at the hit of familiar wave of emotions.

“YOO SEUNGHO!”, she heard her classmates scream upon his arrival. Suddenly, everything blanked out. And emotions washed out of her nervous system and left her only with pounding heart. It has been ten years since, they’ve met. Ten years passed, but those years failed to take away those feelings within her. She was not ready to face him yet. To clear her mind with fresh air, she sneaked to the balcony.

When Seungho entered, his smile brightened the entire hall. After exchanging the hugs, cheers, dear words and smiles with his classmates, he turned towards the couple, “Congratulations! Sorry… got delayed”, he said earnestly.

“At least, you came now. I’m seeing you after ten long years…”, Junmyeon said and welcomed him with a hug.

“I never expected so many of them to come… Is it all your doing?”, Seungho asked Junmyeon, as he looked around.

“Everyone did their best to come”, he replied.

Jiwoo smiled on the outside burying the unsettling feeling while listening to their conversation. “I thought everyone would nod and ditch us in the last minute. But everyone came!”, she said nervously.

While continuing the conversation with them, Seungho took the empty seat across them, “That Sohyun’s!”, Jiwoo said, reminding him that the seat was hers. But, Junmyeon knew that she said those words purposefully. Like she expected, her words shook him, and he instantly rose from the chair taking the empty seat next to it. His eyes scanned her seat and, he found the handbag which was hung on it. “Always Black…”, he uttered himself while smiling, on seeing the colour of her handbag. But soon his smile disappeared realizing that he is in no position to reminiscence about the past. He breathed out to empty his thoughts, but instead it replayed him the images of her sitting in the seat beside him in her uniform. He immediately averted his eyes from her seat, but voluntarily his eyes traced the space she was in, then, it fell on the untouched food on her plate which told him that her taste buds haven’t changed. He sipped his glass of water repeatedly and unconsciously while all his senses looked for her. After his eyes searched for her throughout the hall, it again came back to her empty seat again.

Meanwhile Jiwoo’s and Junmyeon’s eyes were on Seungho, guessing that he is searching for her, “She-”, Junmyeon started, but Jiwoo pinched his thigh to stop him from reporting Sohyun’s whereabouts.

Seungho caught on to their act that they’re avoiding Sohyun’s topic before him. He helped them by pretending not to notice them and diverted his attention to his phone. While Junmyeon who remained clueless about Jiwoo’s cues asked aloud, “Why?”

Seungho didn’t look up and continued his ‘oblivious act’. Jiwoo shook her head and batted her eyes at Junmyeon, thus signalling him to drop this talk, but he asked, “Why are you blinking dear?” Jiwoo even covered her mouth hinting him to stop, but he asked again, “Why are you acting weird, are you ok?”

Giving up on his act, Seungho finally looked up and asked her, “What?”

Jiwoo stayed quiet while, Junmyeon spoke up, “Sohyun went that way…”, he pointed towards her direction.

“So?”, Seungho asked raising his brow.

“I thought you were looking for her…”, Junmyeon spilled his guess.

Seungho didn’t reply to him and went back to his phone.

“Lets’ not disturb her. She might be talking to her fiancée on the phone…”, Jiwoo’s words caught Seungho’s attention.

“Fiancée?!”, Junmyeon asked.

Jiwoo nodded, “She told me that her senior proposed to her and it looks like, he was the one who drove her from Busan to Seoul…”

“Really? Why didn’t she tell me that?”, feeling betrayed, Junmyeon whined.

Seungho felt lost and his eyes aimlessly wandered until one of his classmates, Kiyoung made his entry into the hall and rushed towards Seungho. On seeing him, Seungho got up from his seat and hugged him.

“How are you? You’ve grown more handsome!”, Kiyoung’ words and volume expressed his elated mood. Seungho smiled and said, “I’m always handsome… You’re late, buddy!”

“Travel delay…”, he gave his reason sighing.

“Travel? I thought you’re living here, in Seoul?”

“I got transferred to Busan”, Kiyoung sighed again. “But, thanks to Sohyun, I got a good deal with the house rent. She helped me to find a good house in her locality…”, he paused, “By the way…”, he sang, “Did you meet Sohyun?”, he asked, sneakily hinting him about the famous ‘some’ relationship they had during their high school days.

Seungho shook his head in denial.

“I was rooting for you two… But I heard… you didn’t even date her”, Kiyoung said wearing a disappointed face. “I haven’t met her yet, let’s go see her….”

Seungho’s face tightened, “You go… I’ll come…”

“Come now… let’s go together”, Kiyoung insisted.

“You. Go.”, Seungho said stressing every word while plastering a smile on his face.

“Come now…”, he said and pulled Seungho’s hand.

“I said… you go!”, Seungho shouted. He shoved his hand and pushed him. Kiyoung backed up joking, “Hey! I have grown older… I can’t take your hits like in school days…”

As everyone’s attention fell them, Seungho forced a smile on his face and fast paced towards the balcony to escape the attention. Little did he know that Sohyun was in there. So, when he entered the balcony, he stood frozen. Just a second of look, he knew, it was her, though she was standing facing the other way.

Feeling the presence of someone, Sohyun turned around to find Seungho standing. Their eyes met. To her, that instant, everything came to halt, even the rotation of earth. Every sound muted. She only heard the sound of her breathes and her pounding heartbeat. She felt the intensity of the beat at the rib cage and the pounding memories at her skull.

“Sohyun-ah?”, he called her.

She immediately came back to her senses and responded, “Anneong…”, she breathed out. Her hands fiddled with her nails at the sudden encounter.

As she quickly averted his gaze like she was met with a stranger, “Recognize me?”, he asked her and introduced himself, “I’m Seungho…”. Though he introduced himself softly and presented himself confidently, somehow, he was breathless.

“Yoo Seungho, I recognize you”, she said in all her composure. “How are you?”, she asked.

He nodded saying, “I’m good… You?”. He breathed in again, suffering shortness of breath.

She nodded, “I’m good too…  where are you living? what do you do?”, her curiousness came out as questions.

“I’m in Seoul… I run a driving institute… class A”

“You mean… you own a driving school… for class A licence?”

He nodded.

After that nod, there was an awkward silence between them. He dug one of his hands into his pocket and the other hand fidgeted as it rubbed his temple. His saw her fiddling with her empty hands where there wasn’t any phone and smiled. In an instance, his smile vanished as his eyes found a bright stone on her ring finger.

The silence was evanescent as they were soon accompanied by Kiyoung, “Hey! You’re here!”, he said on seeing Sohyun. On finding Seungho with her, he uttered to himself, “You told me to go but, you went ahead!”

“I heard the senior dropped you…”, Kiyoung teased Sohyun. “That senior of yours told me about the engagement while we’re in Busan… When is the wedding?”

Seungho’s eyes widened at the announcement and he directed his gaze on her and the ring around her finger.

She answered smiling, “The date isn’t fixed yet. Might be… within three months… I’ll let you know when the date is finalized.”

“Let’s go in…”, Seungho interrupted them abruptly, “Everyone might be looking for us…”

They nodded and went back to their table, joining the others. Seungho and Sohyun took their seats beside each other, but never spoke another word. After the dinner and drinks, everyone was heading back to their rooms. While few stayed back and continued to chat.

Seungho cleared his throat constantly and stayed away from alcoholic beverages. He felt uneasy, fidgeted his legs and rubbed his chest. “Is there any pharmacy nearby?”, he asked Junmyeon. 

“Mm”, he nodded, “10 minutes away by walk… why?”

“Indigestion, I guess…”, he replied.

“You’ve been drinking lots of water in between your meal, no wonder you got indigestion”, Jiwoo remarked.

On hearing him, Sohyun rummaged through her handbag and handed him a medicine, “You can have it…”

“Thanks”, he said; put the tablet in his mouth and took his glass but found the glass of water empty. On noticing, Sohyun got up from her seat to bring him another glass of water. When she felt his hand grabbing hers, she stayed on her seat and looked at him puzzled. On stopping her, he casually took her glass and drank water from it. Taken aback by his action, she continued to look at him puzzled. After emptying her glass, he stood up saying, “I’ll get you another one…”

He came back with water in one hand and dessert on the other. He placed both in front of her on the table, saying, “I found your favourite dessert…”

Without a hint of any surprise element in her face, Sohyun looked at the dessert and smiled as she had it. He looked at her with pleased smile and took his seat beside her silently.

Taken aback by drama between Seungho and Sohyun, Jiwoo anxiously asked Junmyeon, “What’s happening there? It looks like they’ve picked up, from where they’ve left, at school”

“Even I feel the same… But, why are you apprehensive about everything related to them?”

“We came imagining one thing… But something else is happening…”, Jiwoo spoke her thoughts.

“Nothing will happen, don’t worry!”

“We are at a crucial situation, and we have no time to waste… better, we disperse them…”

“Disperse?”, Junmyeon wondered.

Jiwoo stood up from her seat and announced, “Let’s get back, it’s late… The dinner hall will close soon…”. Everyone whined, but ultimately, they winded up. “Don’t forget the wedding tomorrow…”, Jiwoo reminded.

After everyone made their exit, only Seungho, Sohyun, Jiwoo and Junmyeon were left. As they slowly walked out, Jiwoo asked, “Sohyun-ah, how long will you be here in Seoul?”

“Long? I’m leaving for Busan tomorrow after your wedding…”, she replied.

“You could’ve planned to stay for 3 or 4 days…”, Jiwoo pouted while Junmyeon nodded agreeing.

With down cast eyes, Sohyun said, “Even I feel the same now”

Seungho’s gaze fell on her at her words and quickly averted his gaze when it met hers.

“Then, why don’t you stay…”, Junmyeon asked.

“I came with a senior who is here for his business…. I got the ride on the promise that I’ll go back with him tomorrow, so I’m leaving with him…”, Sohyun explained.

“Looks like he got you wrapped around his finger an-”, Junmyeon paused in the middle upon feeling Seungho’s stare on him.

“Seungho…”, Jiwoo tried to deviate the topic, “Why didn’t you bring your girlfriend…”

Seungho choked at her question. His words stumbled and fell unable to fight against the cold wind that blew over his face.

“I don’t think he is in a relationship now… As far as I remember, he has never been in a relationship after the rumoured dating with Sohyun in the high school…”, Junmyeon defended him.

Jiwoo was evidently surprised and perplexed as her mouth was agape. Whereas, Sohyun looked away as she felt awkward with the situation.

Jiwoo felt like she dug her own grave, and so, she resorted to the only way out of it, that is, run away, “I’m sleepy, I’m going back to my room…”.

“Me too!”, Junmyeon tagged along and, Sohyun and Seungho went along.

When everyone walked towards the elevator, Sohyun stayed back not boarding the elevator and Seungho who was walking behind her stopped too. Jiwoo and Junmyeon who boarded the elevator, couldn’t hold it up for them because of other people in the elevator. With a worry filled eyes, they let the elevator door close. After the elevator door closed, Sohyun turned around to face him. Holding fear in one eye and courage in the other, she looked into his eyes. He stood stunned and looked at her without any words. Within hand’s reach and within audible distance of whispers and breathes, “Will you drop me in the subway station nearby?”, she asked.

Without asking any questions, he said, “Wait here… I’ll bring my car…” and ran towards the parking lot.

She nodded and waited for him outside the hotel.

Meanwhile in the elevator, after observing them, Jiwoo nudged Junmyeon with her elbow, “What was that? They seem to be heading somewhere else?”

“Yeah… Even I noticed”, Junmyeon said in a daze.

“Nothing wrong will happen right?”

“How would I know? I’m here with you all along…”, he said, suffering the same shock as Jiwoo.

“I overheard Kiyoung and Sohyun talking… Sohyun is getting married within three months… Nothing wrong will happen, right?”, she asked again.

“I’m not thinking about that…”, Junmyeon said.

“Then?”, Jiwoo asked furrowing her brows.

“If something happens between those two here, and her fiancée who dropped her here, gets to know… and if both of us are being caught as organisers… Then, what will happen to us?”, Junmyeon shared his fear.

“They’ve never been in a relationship… She is aware that he always led her on and ultimately, left her with no sense of hope… so don’t worry, she won’t fall for that again, not twice…”, Jiwoo comforted.

“He didn’t lead her on… that was just his kind act… he is just being a gentleman…”, Junmyeon refuted.

“All women? That means, he is a flirt…”, Jiwoo commented.

“A gentleman…”, he stood on his point.

 

Not bothering about Jiwoo and Junmyeon and their worries, Sohyun stood calmly waiting for Seungho. The clouds poured all its frustrations through the rain. The rain relieved all its tension with its intensity. She saw him driving his car through all those hazzle and slowly pulling over before her. He got down and to open the door for her but stood frozen contemplating whether to open the back door or front door for her. On reading his contemplation, she walked towards the car; opened the front door herself and took her seat.

Seungho smirked at her quick response and drove off. After they rode in the rain with awkwardness, caution and few minutes of silence, they arrived at the station. After he pulled over, she turned towards him and said, “Thanks…”. He nodded. She waited for him to utter something, but his eyes darted between the road in the front and the station to his left. Her straight back slouched unconsciously in despondency. She turned towards the door and grabbed the door handle. Before she could pull the handle to open it, she heard the door locking sound. She looked at Seungho with raised brows and widened eyes because he locked the door through the central locking system. Her gaze turned into a glare.

Realizing his mistake, “I’m sorry, sorry…”, he apologised, “I did not mean it that sense, Sohyun-ah…”, he perplexed and unlocked the door. His words stumbled, but he managed to get the words out of his mouth, “It…it was raining outside…  it’s late… and subway may not run after an hour… I could drop you…”

Sohyun smiled at his discomposure, “Night market…”, she disclosed her destination.

“Why there?”, he asked.

“Finally, you asked me a question…”, she said and continued with inaudible muttering, “I guess, you aren’t curious about me…”.

“Pardon?”

“To eat… I’m hungry…”, she said.

“There were lots of food at the party…”, he dropped his sentence halfway on remembering the untouched flood on her plate.

“I forgot to eat…”, her words though may sound silly, were full of honesty.

He nodded and drove the car.

After that, the silence prevailed again, and she broke the silence, “I came thinking, everything and everyone would have changed, nothing has changed…”

His eyes which were fixated on the road all along, looked at her for a second when she said, ‘nothing has changed’.

Parking the car, they walked into the streets of night market. Sohyun’s eyes beamed with excitement, “Walking in these streets, I feel like I have gone back to our high school days… I want to go back to those days… wearing those uniforms, bags, shoes…” He smiled listening to her. She continued, “But… this time, I will confront my crush boldly”, she said looking at him and turned her gaze away after meeting his eyes for a second.

They entered a shop and took a table; sat facing each other and placed the order. As they waited for their order, he seemed restless and struggled to swallow the words. At last he hesitantly spilled his words, “Who is your crush?”

There were lots of ways to avoid the question but, the words that came out of her mouth was, “You!”, she said and immediately bend her head down not knowing how to face him. Rather than embarrassment, the pain and sadness reflected in her face. Because it wasn’t a confession but a thing of a past.

His world came to still at her words. His eyes never left her since the confession.

She should’ve evaded the question from the start, but she couldn’t avoid it anymore. His curious gaze hinted her that he won’t be leaving her without any explanation. When he parted his lips to spell his question, the shop owner interrupted him by placing the dish on their table with loud thud.

“KAMSAMIDA!”, Sohyun said from the bottom of her heart for saving her from the moment.

Some questions, if it misses the correct timing, won’t resonate with the listener, it’ll lose its purpose. Like a valentine day gift, which serves its purpose only if given on valentine’s day. He missed his timing, he missed the opportunity to ask his question.

With him facing her, she couldn’t have her food comfortably. She tried her best to have her food elegantly but, she couldn’t help but fail in it. He, who had been looking at her with his eyes glued on her, suddenly got up from his seat saying, “I’ll wait outside…” She wondered if he caught on to the uneasiness of having him while she was eating. And she was right. He caught on to it and so, he made his way out.

After having her dinner, she paid the bill at the counter. On seeing her paying, he rushed towards her and asked, “You paid the bill already? I said it’s my treat…”

“Some other time…”

“I can’t return the money. I can’t treat you… since you won’t be here in Seoul… How can I treat you SOME OTHER TIME?”, he asked in disbelief.

“Pay me back with answers to my three questions…”, she said.

Though he was taken aback by her deal, he nodded…

His evidently shocked expression made her question, “Am I being too wordy?”

He smirked, “If I compare with our high school days, yes, you’re. But, you’re still shy… two more questions to go…”, he reminded.

Having wasted one question, she went straight to her point, “Haven’t you been in any relationship since the rumour, like Junmyeon said?”

“Yes…”, he answered without giving it a much thought, “What’s the next question?”, he asked nonchalantly.

His answer pricked her for unknown reason, “Why?”

His straight face shattered into anxiety upon hearing her one word ‘why’. “Ok. Let me spit this out”, he said gathering his composure, “After being in love with a girl like you, I can’t be in a relationship with any other girl…”. He smiled after giving his answer.

She wanted to buy his answer, so desperately. If she was in her high school or even in college, she would’ve certainly bought his answer. But, his expression, told her that he was acting, after all he is the drama club president. But she refused to give in, because she was vice president in drama club. “You’ve a great future in acting career”, she remarked.

She caught on to his acting. But she failed to notice the truth in it. His expression was acted well, but his words aren’t scripted. He meant it from every cell in his body.

She refused to give in and planned to spit out the truth under the guise of acting like he did, “Back then, I joined drama club, because you were there”, she told the truth expecting him not to buy it.

“You’re the only reason why my class attendance was over 90%...”, he shared the truth and she didn’t buy it. They started to exchange the truth buried deep inside their heart, keeping a straight face. Because, in that way, they could tell the truth which will be perceived as a lie by the other person.

“I was afraid that you’ll find that I have a crush on you so, I always avoided you…”, she said smiling.

 “I thought you avoided me because, you hated me…”, he pronounced his thoughts.

 “I always tried to sit beside you in the drama club, but I couldn’t…”, she confessed.

“I always sat right across from you in the drama club so, that I can take a glance of your face easily and look straight into your eyes accidently… Sitting next to each other made it difficult to steal a glance….”, he poured his secret.

“But, one day you vanished…”, she dropped her mask and continued honestly, “After finishing our school, I couldn’t find you at all… Neither I could forget you… You didn’t come to see me, of course, you had no reason to see me again. After all, it was just me in that ‘some’ relationship … I couldn’t contact you, I couldn’t ask anyone. Every time I met any of our schoolmates, I used to wait eagerly to see if, they would say something about you. If someone having same physique like you passed by, I would hope, it would be you and even followed them to check it…”, she smirked in disbelief at her own acts. “When I got your number, I texted you… I was happy to receive your reply… but after that one reply, I didn’t get any. You changed your number in a day… I might’ve been a nuisanc-”, before she could finish the word, he covered her mouth with his hands. She pulled his hands away and continued, “One day, I found that everyone in my office was secretly helping my senior to arrange a proposal for me, my instinct told, you would come for me. Now, if I say all this, I might sound dramatic… I felt your presence in our office, when he proposed to me… I thought just like how it happens in dramas, you would intrude in his proposal and introduce yourself as my boyfriend. I was hoping you would take me with you. But…”, she wore a sad smile as she said, “Nothing like that happened, except the proposal…”. She gave him an embarrassed smile saying, “I even thought you had a crush on me!”

He bought her… Completely.

He never uttered another word and never met her eyes again. He hung his head throughout the ten minutes of walk to the car. She felt guilty of telling him after all these years. She expected him to shove her words away as a lie, she never thought he could see through her.  There was again a silence but this time, it was a painful silence between them on the way back to the hotel. He pulled over at a few meters away from the hotel entrance and he gripped the steering wheel while staring into blank space. Sohyun spoke pleading, “These are the things wanted to tell you, someday when I meet you… I couldn’t tell anyone… that’s why I poured my heart out… Sorry… It was all in the past... I swear I won’t trouble you… henceforth I won’t bring this topic up… okay?”  

He looked at her with his eye brows drawn together and with a trace of tears lining his eyes, “No… The fact that I called you again and sent a message, saying that, I wanted to see you… Don’t you know any of that?”

“When did you call me? Message?”, she asked and with her voice quivering, she said, “Don’t lie; don’t act!”

“I texted you and called you… while you’re in your college”, he said in a deep tone insisting the truth.

“Don’t play fool!”

He looked into her hers without any words.

“You really called?”, she asked.

“I was travelling when you texted me. It was in the evening when I got your message, 10th of May, I remember. I didn’t know how to respond, and after giving it a deep thought, I sent you a reply, then I lost the signal after sending it… I waited eagerly to call you but, I lost my phone that night… I couldn’t sleep that night and I couldn’t recover my old number, so, I got a new number and called you, but…”, he paused, “Before I could speak any word, someone else answered the phone, and introduced himself as your boyfriend and he told me not to disturb you… and all I could utter on the phone was ‘Please tell her that I will never trouble her again’. I told myself that anything could’ve happened in those three years and the least I can do is, to not trouble you. That night was the first time, I tested my alcohol tolerance level…”

“Did you not say your name…”, she asked.

“I sent a text saying ‘Hi! It’s me’ I even inserted an emoticon wearing the coolers… I didn’t mention my name, but I thought you might’ve figured”

Without another word, she opened the door hastily and ran towards the hotel entrance. When he witnessed her tears as she took her leave, his mind went blank. By the time, he gathered his senses, she entered the hotel. He ran out of the car and followed her. He gave the car key to the valet parker and ran after her. He lost her as she took the elevator, all he could find was her floor number. He hurriedly called Junmyeon to get her room number. He rushed to her room and knocked on the door. But he found that the door wasn’t locked and all he could hear upon his hesitant entry into her room was the sound of her crying. He walked in calling out, “Sohyun-ah!”

Through her sobbing she spoke, “I never knew that it was you… I never knew…”

He entered the bedroom to find her seated in the corner on the floor hugging her knees. “I swear, I didn’t know it was you…”, she gripped her hair and cried.

He rushed to her and released the grip on her hair. He slouched down with her, held her hand in his. She didn’t stop crying. When he tightened his hold on her hand, the ring on her finger poked his hands.

She looked at him while speaking through her choked breathes, “I swear, I didn’t know it was you… I didn’t know… I didn’t know…”, she repeated those words again and again, as her tears rolled down.

“Sohyun-ah”, he called out softly but all she could utter was, “I never knew, never knew…”

He wiped her tears and said, “Calm down…”

“At that time, there was a stalker spamming me with messages and calls… So, I asked my collegemates to attend the unknown calls… That stalker used different number every time and his messages and calls always start with, ‘It’s me’, so I thought the message was from him and so, the call…”, she choked on her own breath. “Why didn’t you tell me your name? why didn’t you tell me your name?”, she asked with pleading eyes.

“I don’t know…”, was the only reply that came out of his mouth and he sat on the floor dejected.

“I shouldn’t have jumped into conclusion… I should’ve answered that call…”, she covered her face with her hands to hide her uncontrollable tears.

Though her tears pricked him, what pierced him was the ring on her finger. There was no use of knowing it now. He uttered lifelessly, “Why should we get to know the truth now? What we believed to be the truth, could’ve remained the actual truth… It’s all in the past anyway…”. Suddenly, he rose on his feet, “It’s past midnight, you should sleep…”, he said and walked out the room. Before he stepped out of her room, “At least, I get to know that you liked me… In this pain, that is soothing”, she said wiping her tears. He halted on hearing her and listened to her without turning around.

He left her room and walked through the hallway wiping his tears in his arms. “What’s the use of knowing the truth now? what’s the use of regretting it now? What do I do with this pain now?”, he uttered to himself as he made his way to his room.

He walked away from her realizing that, even if he lived this glorious night sharing his regrets with her, he will surely be cheated by the break of dawn. Because, he strongly believed that the dawn that breaks can never be theirs and the glow of the ring around her finger will beat the subtle rays of the sun through the curtains.

The day broke, the wedding went smoothly and the distance between them never vanished. Realizing that he is avoiding her gaze, she put a wall between them to make him comfortable. They pretended to be normal, as if nothing happened, but they clearly avoided each other. After Jiwoo’s bouquet landed in Sohyun’s hands, the photo session started. Following the photo session, everyone took their leave. And, Sohyun went back to her room to pack her things for the travel back to Busan. Seungho stayed with the newlyweds and helped them in attending the visitors. When almost all the visitors dispersed, “I heard you two had a quality time yesterday…”, Jiwoo asked Seungho.

He nodded understanding the ‘two’ in her sentence.

“I heard she told you her secret…”, Jiwoo asked losing slight control of her temper.

He nodded.

“I heard she confessed to you…”, tired of beating around the bush, she went straight to the point.

He nodded.

Losing her temper, she shouted, “Then, while she confessed, you should’ve nodded like you did now! Why did you confess your feelings of THE PAST? Will you die if you don’t confess it then?”

Hearing her voice, Junmyeon hurried to her and calmed her down.

‘Will you die if you don’t confess…’, those words echoed in his ears. Before the echoes could diminish, he ran towards her room.

While Sohyun was packing her things, her phone beeped with a message which read, ‘Hi! It’s me!’, and an emoticon with coolers. She immediately called that number, and when someone on the other end answered,

 _Yoo Seungho! It’s Yoo Seungho!_   (A voice sounded hastily)

(blinking her tears away, she responded) _Yoo Seungho? Left the wedding hall?_

_Yes… why?_

_Did you go back?_

_Sohyun-ah?_

_Have you gone too far?_ (her voice shook with worry)

_I’ve been standing right in front of your room!_

Without hanging up the phone, she ran towards the door. She opened the locks and turned the handle. She took a deep breath before she opened the door. She saw him standing with his phone on his ears, “I should’ve met you like this, instead of just calling you…”, he spoke in all his regret.

He hung up the phone and asked, “Why did you look for me?”

She didn’t know, how to respond him. She didn’t know to explain the sudden surge of emotions that took over her senses on seeing that message. “Will you drop me?”, she blurted out.

He nodded without asking any further question.

While he carried her suitcase to the car, she said, “Drop me in the Myeongdong street, I’ll wait for senior near his office…”

He nodded again and drove the car.

The silence prevailed in the car but, they were comfortable with it. In the 20 minutes of travel, they never spoke a word and the song that played through the radio accompanied their silence. On reaching the destination, Sohyun thanked him and pulled the handle to open the door. But she heard the locking sound again. She looked at him puzzled. He perplexed again and unlocked the door.

“Spare me a few minutes, will you?”, he pleaded.

“Since, that’s one of the very few questions you asked about me, I’ll agree…”, she joked. “And next time, call my name to stop me, don’t lock the door”.

He nodded. “I too thought that I was the only one in that ‘some’ relationship with you in school. You said, I’m not asking any questions about you right? Its because, somehow, I know everything about you, that’s why I didn’t ask you any questions”

“What do you know? Let me hear it”, she said not believing his words.

“You wanted to pursue acting in college, but your parents paid up for architecture… On knowing that, you went for hunger strike but dropped in two days. You got the internship at the company you’re working now in 2013 and you got the job next year. To celebrate it, you watched interstellar movie with your friend and paid for their tickets…”

Her eyes widened at his revelations, “You stalked me?”

“Ah… that curly haired loafer who was stalking you was reported by me… and also beaten up by me”, he disclosed. “At that time, there were two others who were pursuing you…”, he listed his findings.

“How do you know all that?”, she asked in wonder.

“I had my own connections. I used to come to know everything, that happens to you! The only thing that I did not know was that the one who attended your call that day wasn’t your boyfriend… Apart from that, I know everything about you…”, he paused for a thought and then continued, “I once came to see you in your office…”, he revealed but, a sad note lingered in his voice

“What? You came to my office?”

He nodded. “That day, was your birthday. You looked gorgeous in that white dress… You feared spoiling your outfit, at the same time, you were blushing as though everyone was looking at you…”, he breathed out, “At the same time that day, everyone in your office was helping a guy to confess…”

Sohyun’s eyes widened.

He continued, “Like you had thought, I was there when he confessed to you”, he swallowed the knot in his dry throat, “I was standing in the corner amidst the crowd”, he inhaled deeply, “I just couldn’t bear to wait, till you replied to his proposal… I ran… as far away as possible, from your office; from all that cheering for him.”

As tears welled in her eyes, she lifted her hand to hold his. On seeing the ring on her finger, he immediately puled back his hand saying, “It was all in the past…”

‘Sometimes though nothing happens around you, you still have a gut feeling that something is going to happen’, that’s how she felt that day. Though, his words, ‘all in the past’, pinned her down with discouragement, she mustered up her courage to ask, “Shall we go for a walk in the park nearby?”

He nodded with a sad smile.

They walked in the earthen pathway through the breeze which gently brushed their faces, stroking the little hair strands lining their forehead. As they strolled, Sohyun’s eyes caught the wooden bench covered by fallen leaves. At that time, “Shall we sit here and wait?”, he asked her while pointing the bench.

This time, she nodded smiling.

He dusted off the bench with his bare hands for her to sit.

She sat down with a never-ending smile and looked at the space next to hers which was filled by the real Yoo Seungho, who is not in the high school uniform. Comforted by the silence of words and sounds of the nature, they spend their time until a voice called her.

“Sohyun unni?”, a young girl in a casual Tee and rip jeans called her.

Sohyun’s face beamed and she stood on her feet, greeting her with a smile. The girl tilted her head and looked at Seungho. She raised one brow at Sohyun asking, “You never told us that you’ve a boyfriend… No wonder you rejected the advances of many guys in the college…”

“Ah…”, before Sohyun could clarify the misunderstanding, she went towards Seungho and stretched out her hand for a handshake saying, “I’m her junior in college… Nice to meet you! I never knew unni had a handsome boyfriend like you!”

Confused by her declaration, he looked at Sohyun. She mouthed, “She assumed on her own… I never said anything…”

The girl started her chats, “I always wondered, why unni rejected many cool guys in our college… Are you the reason behind it? When did your relationship start?”

Sohyun hushed her, “Stop being nosy. Don’t assume-”, she was interrupted by Seungho, “I might’ve been the reason and she might not have told you about us because, we only had a ‘some’ relationship in our high school and I lost her contact after that…”, he started his own version of the story, “One day, she texted me… I was inexplicably happy on seeing her text… I was travelling, lost my signal to continue the conversation… I even lost my phone that day… I lost my sleep for days because I yearned to continue the conversation and I couldn’t… I bought a new number. And thankfully, everything related to her will register in my memory and will be intact. Immediately, I recovered her number from my memory…”. As he narrated Sohyun listened patiently without batting her eyes. “ _I called her, but someone other guy picked it up… that guy introduced himself as her boyfriend while I introduced myself as just ‘Yoo Seungho’. On hearing my name, she took the phone from him. I told her ‘Hi! It’s me, Yoo Seungho’. She didn’t reply anything and was silent for a while. She took a deep breath and finally said, ‘Hi!’. After that, what happened between us was the things which I yearned, that it would happen in my dreams at least. I realized my dream. But we still had that ‘some’ relationship which wasn’t defined. Until one day, I went to her office and found that one of her seniors was going to confess to her. When he knelt down with a bouquet while confessing his feelings. I saw her struggling in dealing with his confession in front of her colleagues. In that one second, my world and the definition of our relationship changed. The minute I heard his confession for her, my entire being shook. I couldn’t even walk, but I was running to her. I saw her after many years. I had certain questions which I desperately wanted to ask the day I see her. But, when she called my name ‘Yoo Seungho’ on seeing me, emotions took over me and I pulled her into a tight embrace and I declared myself as her boyfriend in front of the same crowd…”,_ Seungho finished narrating his story and looked at her with his eyes lined with tears.

When Seungho looked at her, Sohyun immediately turned around to hide her tears. Her junior, who thought that they were reminiscing about the past, silently took her leave without a goodbye. The next moment, they heard a honk grabbing their attention and turned their head to find her senior in the car. He lowered the window, “I’ll wait for you in the entrance… come soon…”, he said in an amplified tone so that it could travel the wide distance between them and reach her ears. Her senior greeted Seungho with a head bow before he drove off.

Seungho saw her nodding to her senior, and then he said, “Why are avoiding my eyes? That was just a story… all in the past!”, but her back was still facing him. He walked around and stood before her, unaware that she is crying. She again turned around to hide her crying face, but he stubbornly, turned her around to face him. On seeing her reddened eyes and tears rolling on her cheeks, he involuntarily turned himself around unable to witness her crying.

After a while, the sound of her sobbing stopped, when he turned back, towards her direction, he saw her walking towards the entrance. The picture of her walking away without a goodbye, shook him. The moment he saw her crossing the road to get to the car which was waiting for her, something came over him, and he ran after her as if his life depended on it. Thrusting his chest forward, clenching his teeth, he ran. When she opened the car door, her words, ‘Call my name to stop me’, resounded in his ears.

“SOHYUN-AH!”, he screamed out of his lungs and she turned around.

 His eyes were fixated on her that he mindlessly stepped down onto the road from the platform. A speeding car’s honk brought him back to his senses. Startled by the honk, he stepped back hastily, his ankle twisted, and he fell backwards. His head hit the edge of the kerb. Tick-tok, Tick-tok, he heard the time slip off, ticking off his years of life.

He felt the blood oozing out from the back of his head. His vision blurred. His breath became heavy. Sohyun’s heart stopped at very sight of him. He saw her rushing towards him. He can hear her telling her senior to call an ambulance. He never saw her distressed face like this before. He mumbled to her, “I can’t imagine dying without telling you this. I’ll never forgive myself. I’d rather die”. His hearing deafened, he couldn’t hear what she was saying, he could only see in his blurred vision that she was shaking her head. He continued, “I love you. I still love you. From the moment I first saw you. To me, it was never in the past, you were always my present…”, he closed his eyes as he uttered those words.

He opened his eyes to find a white ceiling above him. The bright lights glared his eyes. Scrunching up his face, he turned to the sound which screamed, “He is awake!!!” Blinking his eyes to focus on the person, he found Kiyoung. “I’ll call the doctor…”, he said and ran to find him. After checking him, the doctor said, “Thankfully, it was superficial wound in your head. I’ll tell you about the precautions and symptoms to look out for. Take rest for now…” and he took his leave.

“Where is Sohyun?”, he asked Kiyoung. She went to take care of your formalities and inform your parents.

He covered his face in embarrassment saying, “I made a mistake…”

“What?”, Kiyoung asked him in bewilderment.

“When I got hit in the back my head and was lying on the road… I was scared I’d die. So, I told her, ‘I love you’”

Kiyoung looked at him with blank reaction, “Really? You picked THAT moment?”

“I thought I was a dead man. It felt right to tell her”, he gave his reason.

“You didn’t think of calling up your parents, saying goodbye to them? Or even talking to me?”, he asked.

“Yeah… all that ran like flashes in my head. But in the end, it was only love that lingered”, Seungho consoled him.

“So… you just stated the reasons… why is it a mistake?”

“She is gonna get married in three months… Only after crossing the line, I realized the boundary between being past and present, friends and lovers…”, Seungho said with depressed eyes.

“Sohyun is getting married?”, Kiyoung’s eyes enlarged.

“You told that in the reunion…”

“That was her senior’s sister marriage… they helped me when I was moving to Busan, so I have to attend the wedding…”

“That confession by senior?”, Seungho asked desperately yearning to clear his doubts.

“She didn’t accept it yet… She asked for some more time to decide… that’s a subtle rejection, I guess. But he is strong willed…”

“That ring?”, he asked.

“Molla (I don’t know)”, he poured his annoyance at the continuous questions.

“That’s right”, a contended smile appeared in his face. “It doesn’t matter anymore…”

Sohyun who was waiting for his report in the reception, was muddled in his confession. It was a confession, which she only imagined in her mind. She knew that if she let this chance go by, she won’t get another… But everything felt surreal to her, a reverie. Tears didn’t stop… a sad violin symphony echoed in her ears. I would be a lie to say that she only had him in his heart, because she always thought of getting over him. When someone pursues her, his comes to her mind and she made him the benchmark for comparison, which is a cruel truth.

Getting his report, she made her way towards his floor, “They say, the weight of ‘I shouldn’t have said that’ regret is more than ‘I should’ve said that’ regret. I don’t think so. The former regret involves embarrassment while the later induces pain and frustrations. Will the love I expected is what I’ll get? Live life or leave life? Crucifixion or wings? Now am I to recover or fall through? But even if our bond breaks, I want to tell you my feelings like you did”, as these thoughts voiced over in her head, she reached him.

Her emotions caused strange intoxication to run to him, but the sight of him caused hesitation. While, he sat up straight in his bed with expectant eyes on seeing her.

‘That smile of yours, will it give the same pleasure throughout my life like it did today?’, she wondered as she took her steps towards him. ‘ _I once called it ‘taking it slow’, now I call it ‘cowardice’. I once called it ‘innocence’, now I call it ‘ignorance’. I once told myself ‘Don’t let him know’, now I want you to know’._

She thought emotions decay if buried deep inside but, it has turned into a wine. She felt a heat rising to her face from within. That heat condensed as tears through her eyes. She wanted to put her feelings into words… but all that came out was tears. Before she could turn around to hide, he firmly held her arms to face him. It wasn’t just the tears that she wants to hide from him, but her entire face which scrunched up unsightly and her expression which she absolutely has no control over while she is crying. With him holding her firmly to face him, she only had one choice to hide herself from him, she covered his eyes with her hands and cried her heart out. He let her cover his eyes and let her tears prick him. Tears, breathes and even heartbeats choked her, her voice groaned, and her thoughts clouded.

Still, through her breathes, her subtle confession, “I still love you”, reached his ears.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers! Nice to meet you :)  
> Everyone has their own story. Everyone has their memories of first love and crushes. Everyone has regrets – I just intertwined these three elements.  
> Most of the youth dramas I watched had sad ending and everyone said that it was a ‘practical ending’. I don’t know how your love life has turned out, but somehow everyone wishes for a happy ending even though it isn’t our story, right? So, I created one, to my own liking ;) Thank you for reading :) Hope you’ll enjoy the story!


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